Right! So, when others are around, he doesnt need my attention. He literally forgets that I exist! We can be eating with a group and get up to leave from the table, walk outside and down the street.... he wont even turn around to see where I am at any point. He has literally stopped remembering that I exist. Its embarrassing really. I stayed with him because I have 3 kids to support, he has put them through school....but of course, spent the rest of our money on foolish purchases for himself because he is so selfish. When I married him, I really had no sense of myself, I was mousy and opinionated. I grew up neglected with an alcoholic father and absent mother who didnt care about me. So, I didnt have any hobbies, know how I liked my eggs, what movies I liked. I had no friends, and I had deep shame. I was ripe for a controlling narcissist. I didnt realize what the problem was because I hated myself so much. I realize now, but still working on the self hate.