I'm contemplating not telling current T about my visits to other Ts (she's been on vacation and today's my first session after she got back) or that I have one scheduled tomorrow.

Given how it went with former T (a whole lot of 'What ar you looking for?' followed by my thinking things are really great and why do I want to leave followed by my usual rage....lather, rinse, repeat) and that I really can't afford to lose my focus at work (my tiffs with current T for some odd reason seem to make me lose sleep, screw up my appetite and general productivity), I am thinking I'll just shut up about it and make up my mind on the new T before saying anything to current T.

On the other hand, I don't know how to get through today's session without blurting it out.

So, I'm considering cancelling -- first time I'll be cancelling within her 24-hour window. I don't mind paying the session fee (her policy) but I don't want to deal with her responses and then I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to go back to the next session because everything will be more blerghh than usual...

And, then at some point, my brain will convince me that I made a mountain out of a molehill and can I just quit the drama and go back and you know, talk about my mother.

Someone whack me on the noodle and ask me to grow up and make a decision either way?