Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
(((Awk))) this is the work!!! This is why its GOOD that, as SD says, no they are not really human, so they are not going to be DEVASTATED that you spoke to someone else. Otoh, are they gonna be thrilled? No, not really - they really ARE human, after all. Its a paradox.
But - the more important thing is YOU. YOU need to not hide this "awful" - awkward? - truth about yourself from the other person - past, present, and future, unless of course you decide theres a really good reason to make an exception THIS time? But it shouldnt have to be our modus operandi, to stifle ourselves, just because thats how we were raised up. We shoulda been raised better. Heres our chance. Youre in t to take it.  |
Una -- truth.
I hear what you're saying and for what it's worth, it's not actually my general MO -- I'm ridiculously transparent about stuff like this, almost to a fault. Former T in fact -- despite all her anger -- told me that no one could ever accuse me of not having tried to work it out with her or that I hadn't been honest with her.
It's more that right now, I can't deal with the emotional fallout -- and, I'm very sure there'll be a really non-trivial one -- of current T's response to my telling her about it while also sorting out how I 'fit' with the other T (I'm a bit psyched about this new T and so, I kinda want to keep a 'clear' mind). Current T is blithely clueless -- despite my telling her repeatedly -- on how I end up feeling felled after each one of our quarrels.
I'm thinking then that if I decide to switch, I'll of course terminate in person. And, if I don't decide to switch, then I'll come out with the whole sordid saga. But, either way, I'll tell her after I've made up my mind and am in a much better place about it -- btw, she's not entirely in the dark about how I've been feeling (every time I cancel, I've told her + I told her when I checked out another T a few weeks ago). Like ATAT said though, she just assumes that if I'm coming back, all is hunky-dory and she needn't change a thing (former T did the same but was kind enough to actually say that to my face).
I know, I know, being vulnerable -- especially when it hurts the most -- in T is the work but man, I really would like for once to not feel like I got run over by a truck (or more importantly, my boss would like to make sure I think that I don't walk around with my brain in a fog all week long).