Nothing is getting better. Now I'm not doing so good. Right now I hate myself. This whole finding myself thing isn't so much about figuring out who I am because I guess I've known for awhile but just ignored it. It seems more about being me but I can't do that and it hurts so much that I can't stand to exist at the moment. It's so wierd. Why does this feeling always happen to me. It's the most intense feeling I've ever felt.