The first time I went to therapy when I was 15, I did this same thing. I find it difficult to speak about my issues with my therapist so I keep telling them that I'm fine and downplaying my symptoms. The first time I successfully got out, only to have a breakdown and go back at age 19. Now that I've been on meds and therapy for a year. I find myself lying AGAIN. I even told them I was so fine that I wanted to get out of therapy and "graduate" from my therapist and psychiatrist. Somehow it is extremely difficult for me to talk about my problems, thoughts and symptoms, so i have been telling them, I'm fine now and my mood swings are just normal, not horrible. Saying them feels like admitting my problem by throwing it out into the world. I have felt that if I throw all of this away I can finally "cure" myself and continue on with my life without this burden. I feel so bad about lying. I even lie about the frequency I take my meds. I think I'll come clean no matter how much it hurts. This way I'll never get better I guess. I plan to type it out and show my therapist next time, because I just can't say it. On top of this I opened up to my psychiatrist about a worry I was having and she said I was being selfish, I was spoiled all my life so I didn't know any better, and other people have had it worse than me so I have to get on going with my life soon. It's hard not to believe it when a professional says it, right? I'm sorry, I just felt like ranting where maybe some people would understand me.