Dear former pdoc, former T, and current pdoc/T,

Y'all. I have been patient with you but HOLY CRAP YOU NEED TO GET YOUR COLLECTIVE S**T TOGETHER. I know that I am one of those high-functioning people with depression and am also a health professional BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU LOT ARE ABSOLVED OF RESPONSIBILITY WHEN IT COMES TO TAKING CARE OF ME. I AM STILL YOUR PATIENT AND THEREFORE I NEED YOU TO DO SOME S**T FOR ME THAT I AM INCAPABLE OF DOING MYSELF BECAUSE I AM TOO EFFING SICK.

You all know that I am super not well. Two inpatient stays and countless med trials and the fact that I FEEL AWFUL ALL THE G*DDAMN TIME despite 2-3x/wk therapy for the past two years is sufficient evidence to indicate "not well" to anyone who is paying attention. SO WHY THE EFF ARE YOU BLAMING ME FOR HAVING A SHRINK WHO ISN'T CAPABLE OF CARING FOR ME even though I started working on this three months before I moved and I interviewed 8 providers over the phone and none of them would take me because insurance/complicated meds/ too busy. I TRIED. REALLY HARD.

**ck you all.

(And just as much as I hate all of you, I hate myself for needing you, for being so ****ing sick that I allowed myself to depend on you.)