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happysobercrafter · Jul 23, 2017, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rayne Selene

Long story short, my dad is a narcissistic alcoholic sociopath who has made thr last ten years (at least) of my life HELL. He's manipulative and downright insane and he's totally broken me and my family. My parents divorced five years ago and we've spent that time trying to heal. I was foolish enough to try and preserve a relationship with him until recently, when I finally broke.

I immediately decided to change my last name to my mother's maiden name. I've sat on the decision for a few months to be sure, and I'm set in it--I don't want his name anymore. He's obsessed with owning us, and I don't want to belong to him.

That being said, I've now started to think about my first name. I've never liked it much--it's a VERY common name--and it also belongs to him. It's meaning is derived from him, and that's why I was named that. I thought maybe I'd start going by my middle name, but it isn't enough. My middle name is my maternal grandmother's name: so with changing my last name, I would ha e my grandmother's name. I love her, but I have such a fierce independent streak that I want my OWN name.

So I'm thinking about changing my first name. I'm thinking about doing a derivative of my mom's, Grace, so something meaning "from grace" or "of grace" because I love her deeply and we've been through so much together and this could be a way to honor her. At the same time, I think my family will think I'm insane...and it would be super weird to suddenly have everybody calling me a new name. But it's also what I want. What should I do? How should I do it? Am I nuts here?

I say GO FOR IT!! I changed my name in July of 2005. My COMPLETE NAME! First, middle and went back to the family last name dropping my ex's last name.

It was fun once I had the court document and had to go get my driver's license switched over. They changed it right on the spot. I thought I would have to wait but I didn't. My health insurance, bank account, birth certificate, passport. All of it has to switch over. And I could tell that the folks who waited on me were dying to ask me why I had it changed, LOL One of my doctors during an exam kept saying that he had had patients change their LAST name but NEVER anyone who had changed FIRST AND MIDDLE names. I lowered my voice to barely a whisper and said: I am in witness protection. He looked at me to see if I was serious, LOL It was funny He said he wouldn't let Tony know I was there, LOL

I love my name I chose for myself. It is completely unique to me. I have googled it; there is no one else in this country who has it. So, I say, go for it! It is YOUR choice to make for YOU!