I was right (and I've really known all day from how I felt): I have to increase my clozapine more. She says that it will come down when the summer is over and I know that's not really that long but I hate the idea of being so sedated. But I also know I'm pretty high right now and if it turned mixed again it would probably get ugly. I keep reminding myself that if I do this now I do it outpatient; if I don't do it I wind up IP and they'll do the same thing but probably to a higher dose.

I'm still frustrated. I just want to be back to how i was before we messed with my dose at all. I also want to not be petsitting this week but I am, so I'm not sleeping at my house. I'm at my mom's which is next door and I spend plenty of time at home but I want to just stay in bed and adjust and I can't do that. I'm really afraid something will get the chicken tonight. There have been attempts by some creature twice in the last week and I'm scared of having to deal wtih a dead chicken.

I need to go do something else to help me feel like I've done everything to protect the chicken.