Ive been with my t about ten years, and its been a long long time since we talked about "just" feeling bad. On the one hand, he says that nobody feels good all the time. I was like, well i need my baseline feeling to be higher than always sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-basement.

Being past menopause really helps, but you cant help that! Mood stabilizers also help. Exercise helps. Getting outside helps. Laughing helps. Coffee helps. Those lists that tell you to refer to a list of 50 things to do to help - i dont think those help; they just seem like another bunch of things im failing at, out of control, not part of my life.

To answer your thread title question, you played the boy who called wolf by not answering their calls. How bad was that? IF you want them back, not distant, you probably need to apologize. And ask them back onto your team, IF you want them. You deal with your ambivalence by treating them like humans who youve asked for help, and respecting that as you would like to be respected. For yourself, not for them.