Hi

Sorry if I'm posting, I know I shouldn't...I left my other old thread hanging, and it was my fault.

I don't know if I have social anxiety, or something else, I can't tell what's wrong or even if anything's wrong, sometimes I think nothing's wrong. I don't know how I think about things, it's all messed up. I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section too.

I think it's because... I don't know if I truly feel anxious in social situations, or if I'm just making it up in my mind to feel justified in my avoidance towards everything. I avoid most social situations. I do get nervous, but sometimes I don't...so I can't tell the difference. I don't have any friends. I don't talk to people in my university. I pretty much stay to myself 24/7, except my family, who I live with. I think I'm asocial.

When I was young I think I had selective mutism in school, up until I was in high school and even sort of now. I didn't talk to anyone. I guess I wanted friends back then, but after I've been rejected so much, I've seen that friends and people in general can never understand me. I don't relate to other people. I only see a doctor now and they don't know what I have, they thought I had psychosis/schizophrenia, that's what I'm dx with, but recently I think they finally see that I'm not really psychotic, and so now I'm going off anti psychotics to see how I will do.

I think I feel happy alone, because, I can be in my own world. I think I might have a personality problem, because I can see, that I want to be alone. I like it, I enjoy spending hours and hours in my own mind, and I can truly be myself. But sometimes... I think it's too much, I sometimes think I'm lonely...but at the same time, I don't want friends or relationships? I don't know my own self so I can't honestly tell. I don't feel anything for other people... I think I have low empathy, no feelings or emotions.

What's wrong? Sorry again for posting...and I know no one can truly tell me, there's more but I won't post it all...I just have lots of troubles and don't know what I should do....