I also think that it's possible that some T's use negative words to describe their experience of Erotic Transference as a way of masking their true feelings. I equate it back to when I was 14 and first started getting crushes on boys.... "What? Me? Oh no I don't like boys at all!" - it's a defense mechanism and the fact that they use such strong words to do so is actually more proof that it's more of a façade than anything because while some of these cases are probably pretty ugly clients and pretty attractive therapists... surely it also happens to pretty attractive clients and therefore it's not really "gross" or "offensive" - then it's just misguided and sad really... why use such insulting terms to describe how they feel? Probably because half the time they are faking it. My T told me we had a very special connection and him and I were the same age and in the same league too really. The fact is, I have dealt with more than my fair share of unwanted obsession and affection and the truth is, it should always be taken positively. Anytime someone finds your looks or your personality attractive or appreciate you, you should take it as a compliment in my opinion. (don't bother disagreeing with me, it wont change my opinion.) Now if that person who loves you is also hiding in the bushes and watching you, or calling your house at 3am every night or crawling into bed with you while you sleep or constantly saying inappropriate things to you, (all of which I have experienced from people who liked me when I didn't like them back) then it's a problem and you should deal with it appropriately and swiftly to put an end to it because that is destructive and dangerous. However if we're talking about sweet puppy love where someone merely compliments you, looks at you with stars in their eyes and thinks the world of you.... why would you respond with disgust to that? Anyone who would do that... is disgusting. In my opinion. I have the sweetest person who for all intensive purposes is not my cup of tea and is several leagues below me but he has the most darling puppy love for me and while we'll never be more than friends because I'm just not into him that way... I would never feel disgusted by him or his feelings. Sometimes I think therapists need more help than we do because to be disgusted with someone having a crush on them is not very mature or well adjusted. Again, provided the client is respectful and lawful about it.

And BudFox - I agree with you... it does seem like they engineer it.