I have had hostile family relationships as well...I'm 53.

My therapist told me lately...and a bulb went off in my head...that THEY weren't there for me...so I should feel no guilt of letting them go.

This statement from her set me free in a way....I still feel guilt of letting go but...I try to remind myself that my therapist made it ok for me to let them go...and then I feel a little better.

But, I think this will be a lifelong battle we will have with ourselves...even thou we have been harmed there is something in us that has been taught you should love your family.