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MzJelloFluff said:
how do you define trust? is it believing what he says? Does trust with a T simply equate to believing him?

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For me, believing my T comes after trust has been established. It is an effect of trust, not what makes up trust. Trust to me is being able to share my innermost self with my T. I give him my trust when I share. He shows he is worthy of my trust by how he accepts me and what I share, even things that I have never told anyone, that are embarrassing and shameful to me, deeply painful, and soul wrenching. When he reacts with acceptance and caring and understanding, I know that between us there is trust.

Because of this deep trust that we have established, I really sit up and take notice when he tells me something, even if it is not what I want to hear. Because of our trust, I believe him. I know he has years of experience working with clients and their problems, has only my best interests at heart, and would never lie to me or lead me astray. But I also know he is human, not always 100% attuned to me, not infallible, but yet very open to my telling him when he is not "right on the money." But his intentions are always good and borne of a desire to heal and help.

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i haven't been able to tell him exactly because i am afraid he'll tell me i need a different sort of T

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">It sounds like you are starting to talk about this with him, and it will only help. It will be good to get clarity on what he can provide. No person is perfect and this extends to therapists. While one therapist may have many of the qualities you want, if he doesn't have one or two, is it enough to seek another T? Can you make the most of the relationship with this T and use it for all it is worth and get almost all of your needs met? Or is your relationship and this T lacking a truly critical piece that you cannot continue without?