So, maybe some more tough love for you, but...
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I'm just saying...she pushed me to do what I did because she lied and cheated so many times I just couldn't take it anymore.
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No, you let her treat you like garbage. You just took it and kept taking her back and taking more.
All of this I'm reading is about you have to make better decisions. Stop letting women use you and treat you badly, to the point where you get angry and snap and do things that really only end up hurting you. Why did you stop coming here? Why did you stop going to therapy? Why did you stop taking your meds? Bad decisions. It's not the anxiety and bipolar.
Even if you couldn't afford therapy and meds, you could have come here, and we would have told you to leave that chick alone (or somebody would have, I wasn't here until recently).
Do you have a lawyer?