Art, I have been following your posts for a long time, and I really feel for you. I agree with the others that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself and it would be helpful to at least have a termination session.

But I guess I don't understand why you feel you have to end? Do you really believe you have irreparably ruined the relationship? Could it just be that your relationship is simply suffering one of the little blips that mark many or most long-term relationships, and that you could work through it and be fine?

I remember one time I had a blip with my therapist- it was probably the only thread I've ever started on here. I remember how terrible I felt, and it was like I couldn't quite imagine there was a way I could get back to normal. But we survived it, and now it's just a little episode in the background. I think these things just happen in long-term relationships, and getting through them is part of what makes them so rich.