Trash bags full. Many written at night in the dark so sentences are going in different directions overlapping sometimes. Some written in to do lists. Lots of trying not to forget things I want to remember. And very very many dealing with things I shouldn't do the next day and failing to accomplish (like drugs, or excessive computer for example). Leading to a vicious cycle.

Then I hoard them all and never read them. I hide them because it's very weird. I hate to lose the memories I wanted to remember. I've been doing this since puberty. Which is when my mental anxiety increased. What should I do?