Quote:
Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours
Session with potential new T yesterday who's a psychoanalyst.
She was kind and thoughtful -- nothing spectacular (or terrible).
But, for the first time and among all the therapists I've seen, I had a visceral sense that she could take whatever I dished out and I wouldn't need to take care of her. And, that nothing about me -- even in the most literal sense -- would be truly foreign to her. Not that she'd have perfect understanding or attunement but more that she'd be curious and make a good faith effort to understand with kindness (rather than distance herself from it).
I can't figure out if all that -- stuff I feel is missing with current T -- is enough to make the switch and get over the loss of my connection to current T.
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Ex-Echos M had a similar struggle when she was trying to adapt to her new (not new now) therapist. Although I think the dynamics with her old T were unhealthy in different ways than yours, she had a hard time with the
meh feelings of the new therapist despite the fact that he had all the qualities that made him a good therapist (stable, secure, insightful, etc.). For a long while, it seemed, the new one just lacked the emotional charge of the old one, but she went with her gut to stay with the new one and it has really paid off. If she's around, maybe she can explain it better.
Sometimes, issues with therapists that mirror family dynamics cannot be worked out with that very therapist. If yours is that reactive, it's like you are forever locked in the same dysfunctional bond as what you have with your mother. I'd say something differently if she had managed to steady herself better, but it sounds like she's still bouncing around emotionally?