This is very sad that your marriage has lost so much warmth this early in the game, and it does appear that it's not all your fault. It will take a deep commitment to get back to some semblance of normal, and you need your wife to care enough to work on it too.
I really don't believe in the concept of their being such a thing as "the one." There are any number of women in this world with whom you could have had a good marriage. I believe that is true for everyone. Unfortunately, we don't thoroughly know someone, usually, until after being married to them for a few years. At that point, we sometimes find we made a mistake. With your wife half-ways through a pregnancy, this is not the time to second-guess your choice of a wife. Do the best you can by her. It wouldn't be wrong, IMHO, to sit down with her and try to reach an understanding that you both need to put more into this marriage. The lack of sexual intimacy is a very bad sign. I don't often recommend marriage counseling, but I would for you two. After the baby arrives, you won't have a lot of time, and stress on both of you will go up. Some couples counseling now might save the marriage before it's too late. In October, her focus will be the baby. You'll feel even more neglected. Turn this thing around before the due date . . . or die trying.
Yes, you have a crush. Don't go asking that woman if she has "feelings" for you. She'll think you're an idiot. Try to see less of her, if that's possible. When you do chit-chat with her mention that you're awaiting a baby. That will help put the two of you onto an appropriate footing with each other.
As you go through life, you will, from time to time, meet women who are more beautuful than your wife . . . and sexier . . . and more lots of other things. That doesn't mean your wife was the wrong person to marry. She has a quality that many more attractive women will lack: she wanted you. Hopefully she still does.
Maybe this marriage will fizzle out. But give it your best for the next two years, and then see where you and your wife are. Keeping your family intact has many rewards that you have yet to experience. Don't compare your wife to the hotties you bump into out in the world. It's so easy to idealize women you've never actually been in a relationship with. They all come with problems.
|