Hi Cindy ,
You , like other have mentioned , are not a freak !
In fact you might be more normal than you think , you have issues , you work through them as best you can , you have some plan at some point.
U R not alone ! Post here , or start journal therapy on your own and don`t look at the first entry until about 6 mo. have gone by , evaluate how you fee , then and now.
Having GD is not an illness or a condition , it`s just you trying to be you the best it can with a male body in the way , plain and simple.
Some never have the courage to speak out , be proud that you have that courage.
If you decide to make a transition , the younger the better , both physically and emotionally.
You have to be yourself or you will never be whole , believe me . going through like torn up on the inside is no fun.
U---- Go Girl !!!!
KP