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Originally Posted by BrokeTech
So, maybe some more tough love for you, but...
No, you let her treat you like garbage. You just took it and kept taking her back and taking more.
All of this I'm reading is about you have to make better decisions. Stop letting women use you and treat you badly, to the point where you get angry and snap and do things that really only end up hurting you. Why did you stop coming here? Why did you stop going to therapy? Why did you stop taking your meds? Bad decisions. It's not the anxiety and bipolar.
Even if you couldn't afford therapy and meds, you could have come here, and we would have told you to leave that chick alone (or somebody would have, I wasn't here until recently).
Do you have a lawyer?
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Mental illness is called Mental Illness for a reason. Because it effects your thinking. I shouldn't have to say that on a mental health forum.
I have public defenders.
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
Hopefully they'll go easy on you, as it was your first offense. You know that your illness and impulsivity got you into this mess.
I get tempted to do something stupid to act out, but thank God, I can always control myself. I think of others, like innocent kids playing in the street you might have hit with the car, etc...
I know how hard it is to control yourself when you have disorders. I hope you will stop and think next time you know you are doing something really destructive.
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I know. I am so thankful that nobody got hurt. I would have felt even more horrible if somebody did. I really am trying to get help for myself.
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Originally Posted by Hopingtrying
I assume you are an adult (if you were a minor, your record could be sealed I think). There are also ways to eventually get your record expunged in some states. It all costs time and money of course.
I also learned the hard way (an attempt) not to quit my drugs cold turkey. You are suicidal for a reason--it is actually easier to think about about that then how stupid (sorry---hope this isn't a trigger---I can relate to the feeling) what you did was and the consequences. Read as much as you can about the legal system including the laws you broke, how the court system works, etc. One way to fight suicidal thoughts is to make a plan to tackle your problems--doing that makes you feel less powerless. You can learn from this. I now take my suicidal thoughts more seriously. Please go to the emergency room if you think you are close to acting on the thought. A good thought--maybe your history of mental illness will convince them to be more lenient on you so don't hide it and let them know you are trying to get the help you need. You can get through this one step at a time......
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Yeah, if I get stuff on my record I am going to ask about how that expungement works and how long it would stay on my record for.
I have multiple suicide attempts...though surprisingly I haven't actually tried anything since this all happened despite it being the hardest thing I've had to deal with. Maybe in some sense I am stronger and I know better.
I have been honest with my public defenders and my probation officer about my mental illness and personality disorder and how they are untreated right now and were at the time of the incident as well. But one of the judges was an asshole so I'm not looking forward to the second time I have to see him. I think he's someone who doesn't understand how these things can effect thinking and actions. Therefore...leniency with him seems unlikely.
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Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?
I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. That definitely sounds like it sucks. Im glad you came back here for support. Sending warm thoughts...
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Thank you.