Quote:
Originally Posted by Trace14
I think most of us tend to latch on to people we think care, feel safe with. But there are some people out there that are looking for people like us, who do not have our best experience in mind. Not that you should be suspicious of everyone, just be careful and if red flags start coming up recognize them and act on them.
Remember it's his job to provide the therapy that helps you. That's what he's paid for. They are not meant to be our friends, just paid professionals to help us get the tools we need to move forward in our lives. Eventually with out them there. I've seen people have break downs because they are leaving their T or the T goes on vacation, that's not healthy to get that dependent on them. Yes we always will be here to lend an ear and to share our own experiences with therapy. Therapy is hard and a lot of work, and it should be that way.  |
Sad thing is...I already am suspicious of everyone. I think I go into situations backward...I don't automatically like/trust people, they have to earn it. Whereas, most people I know like/trust everyone until they prove themselves untrustworthy.
I honestly see T C as a competent professional who can help me achieve my goals. I didn't feel that way with Disasters 1 & 2. They definitely did not have my best interest in mind. 2 actually told me a month in that she wanted a dual relationship. She desperately (exact word she used) wanted to be my friend. So...me, not having any friends and thinking that she knew best, became her friend. It was a major mind f**k and tragedy from the get go. She couldn't keep herself out of my therapy...something she promised to do. I was paying her to talk about her. When we did things as friends and I said anything about my life/situation I had to pay her because that "put her on the clock." I couldn't/didn't stand up for myself. It wasn't until she told me that she wanted to commit suicide with me that I knew things were terribly wrong. I reported her to the licensing board (they are still investigating) but she continues to harass me. T C knows all of this...every boundary Disasters 1 & 2 crossed...and he is doing a great job of not repeating the pattern. He doesn't talk about himself unless I ask or it's appropriate to the conversation. It was the reason, he says, that he "gave me space" over the past two weeks. He doesn't force physical contact with me, a huge problem with Tweedledee & Tweedledum.
I know it sounds like I'm finding every reason to think he's this great savior who is going to fix me...but I know how human and imperfect he is. Re: his colossal f**k up the past two weeks. He's going to disappoint me and let me down from time to time. But it's something I really need to learn how to cope with in healthy ways.
I do think, though, that
some form of attachment is necessary. For someone who has never had a healthy attachment/relationship it's just part of the process. As long as very clear boundaries are kept...I think it's helpful. Now, I'm not going to cry and freak out when he goes on vacation (well, unless he leaves for like a month!), but I will miss the support.
Sorry this was soooooo long! I hope it makes sense!