The one time in my life I ever had a formal therapist was when I was in highschool, and the one thing I remember clearly about our sessions is that he called me a "benevolent victim". I am self aware enough to realize that I'm being taken advantage of, but I tend to make the decision to allow it to happen because I feel like I am doing the right thing by doing any and everything I can to support other people. That's why I let work push me around - I'd rather be overloaded than have my coworkers have to take on more work (pretty much everyone here is overloaded, to be honest). I let my husband decide the course of our lives not because I don't see that he is taking control from me, but because I've made the decision that I want to do any and everything I can to make him happy.

So, I know that you are right, and I am trying to work on myself in whatever ways I can during this time. In fact, I took your advice and talked to my husband about moving, and we are going to put that plan on hold for now. But at the end of the day, I would rather work on strengthening myself and empowering myself to overcome these challenges rather than asking the world to adapt to my shortcomings.

Maybe I'm totally wrong for doing so, but standing up for myself (except when I believe it to be necessary), generally just makes me feel selfish and self-loathy. Maybe that's the next challenge I need to overcome.

Thank you both for your feedback, it is very appreciated. <3