For the third Christmas in a row, I have been away from my grown daughters and my 5 grandchildren. This year was very hard for me, more so than the pervious 2. They are litterally growning up without knowing their real Nana. I am ill and can only travel in stages and so because three out of the 5 kids, I am not really unknown to them. They have Step-Grandmothers and I feel threatened by them as I fear they will never know who I am. I visit once a year for 3 weeks but once again, they forget. They are 7,5,3,26 mos and 7 mos. I talkied to my 5 yr old granddaughter, Megan, who is very smart. She asked me "Nana, why aren't you here for Christmas"? I broke down and asked her to put mommy back on the phone. I think it upset my daughter but it is hard to hide emothers. I am 1.200 miles away and because of my physical illness I am in the best state for medical care. Is it OK for me to be so depressed and to be a bit jealour of the two women who seem to have "squeezed" into my place?

AnAngel