Over a year ago, I went to this local BDSM dungeon. I can't say I'm into all aspects of BDSM, but I do enjoy erotica, and so I wanted to explore my tastes in BDSM, since I have sexual feelings like many men do. I'm tired of watching porn and using escorts now, to be honest.

Last year, I found out a Spanish "sub girl" was visiting there, so I went to see her. Anyway, I was angry at my life in general, so I went on an adult forum and started rambling a lot of crap, venting like I always do. So this mistress (or dominatrix) in Glasgow who frequents these forums, ended up contacting the owner of this place in Edinburgh, giving her a warning about me, because I mentioned my legal issues and other stuff that bugs me, merely because I feel backed into a corner. She knew I had gone to that dungeon due to the fact I said so in one of my posts, before I asked for that account to be erased. At the time, I think I was commenting about maybe being overcharged. These women are sadists, by the way, so they hardly have room to talk. Just use your imagination.

I only seen this Spanish woman twice, but I thought she liked me. We had spoke about going for coffee together. Then because this tart informed the owner, I was blacklisted, I guess. The woman never seen me again and made up excuses. We never had coffee. She went back to Spain as well, but I know she still visits Scotland now and again, because she has a profile on Twitter. I've never done anything to deserve being treated this way. She told me in a message she cannot go against her boss.

Something similar occurred on a website called Meetup, which as the name suggests, is for people to meet others in social groups. But when I told the organizer of this horror related group that I had many issues, hoping she would understand, she blacklisted me. Honestly, I get treated like I'm some sex beast. This abuse that people have subjected me to has been going on in my life now for the better part of two decades, especially with trolls harassing me online. Since 2002 at least, I've been put through a heck of an ordeal. I've never even really had a real relationship with anybody, because my ex-girlfriend was never even interested in me as a person, and I don't look particularly attractive either, so I guess that rules out me finding true love. It just looks as if my charges are coming back to haunt me - everywhere. I'm never even that discreet about what I reveal, so it leads to me being identified so easily.

Well, I guess I better get used to solitude once I finally get my own flat, because I can see my mental health declining even further. I'm not even able to get any decent support any longer, because social services are just acting awkward about things, and I said I would fund my own support, but it would be too expensive to pay for it all the time.