Thank you both for replying.

I don't know what I'm looking for. My mind is just a ramble of thoughts & sometimes I feel so much & other times nothing at all &....I just end up googling whatever I'm feeling or thinking or combination in the hope that I'll come across some page that describes me to a tee & I'll finally know what''s wrong.

I know really that's not going to happen I guess. But I can't stop doing it just in case I missed that one missing piece in the jigsaw.

The truth is I guess is that I don't know who I am anymore. I'm lost. And because I can't put into coherent sentences what's inside my head googling just words is all I'm left with.