first of all, i'm sorry you're suffering.

it was the same thing for me. i got so horribly depressed (i was taking lamictal alone for about 6 months) and i just couldn't take it so i went off, haven't gotten any new meds ever since.
it's been almost a year off my meds now and i do feel like i should go back to my psych and work out a solution but i don't know, i'd rather be crazy than depressed aha

maybe you could try other meds? talk to your doctor and work out a solution that'll actually help you.