Thanks again everyone for your responses. You are definitely helping me put things in perspective but it's still very confusing in my head right now.
There is no doubt I had the honeymoon phase with my wife and I loved seeing her as much as possible, what I'm saying is I don't remember the feelings being as strong as they are now with this new woman, maybe they were, it was a long time ago I honestly can't remember.
I used to make these little things for my wife which I haven't done in a while so last night I tried to make one for her, I was able to focus my thoughts on my wife briefly before I started thinking about the other woman.
I know I'm missing the physical love part with my wife and I've told her this as well. She tells me she needs emotional love in order to be physical which I can understand but I try to give her emotional love the best I can but I'm not getting the physical love in return which is kind of deflating if you will.
I'm not getting any physical attention from the other woman so I'm not sure how she would represent that need of mine?
I don't think you are being to harsh, I'm looking for honest opinions and don't need them sugar coated.
It has been a while since I've cooked her a nice meal, we have just been so busy lately, I will make an effort to do that this weekend.
I don't know if I would say my wife has an awful attitude towards marriage as much as I would say she's generally a negative person and always expects the worst. To me it comes off as though she thinks the world and life are out to get her. She says it's not that but that's how I perceive her outlook on things.
I've told my wife that was a very offensive thing to say when she told me she thinks she will be a single mom. She said she was angry and didn't mean it. She has said a couple other things that were on par with that if not worse which I won't repeat. I'm not innocent by any means, I know I've said offensive things to her as well but I don't think what I said was anywhere near as offensive as what she said. I know her saying those things are bad and her comments have stuck with me because if it. I generally don't let things bother me or stay with me do i know its bad that they are in fact still with me.
I think I can confidently say my wife is unaware of my "wandering eye" as you put it.
If her father cheated im unaware of it. Her parents seem happy to me but my wife thinks they are going to get divorced. She knows better than I do obviously but I don't get that vibe.
I'm trying to keep this woman separate from my marriage but everything I do weather with or without my wife brings me to thoughts of this woman which is driving me crazy. It's a really bad struggle right now.
Just talking about seems to be helping a little, I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this in person so I truly do appreciate all of you taking time to help me