we were just doing our last minute xmas shopping , when kathy's phone went off in her bag..........
it was the police, ..... they wanted to tell me that my bail had been cancelled, this scared me , as watching all those cop shows on tv , when your bail gets cancelled you are going to be arrested again............ but the police officer explained to me that , after they had done all there investagations , that they felt there isnt a case to asnwer too.......... and that i dont have to go to the police station again for any more interviews........ and as far as they are concerned the case is closed.

i have been waiting for this day, but now that it has come , i dont feel happy or relieved ........ i feel ..........i dont know how i feel....
i wonder, does my stepdaughter know what she has done, .? not just to me but to the whole family.... and her self.
my youngest daughter has so much hatred towards her , its scary....... (i feel that is because i have openly said i hate step daughter at the moment)

i am trying to work out what her lie has caused here at home ,
for me , i can not tell my children off without feeling im being to hard on them.......... i cant relax when i go to bed ............... having nightmares in which i just give up..............watching tv shows that i used to like
watching like csi and crime files , now trigger me..
the rest of the family........... well lets just say we are all a mess..........

dec x0x