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Old Jul 26, 2017, 06:52 PM
Anonymous58205
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
So I have both some positive and negative maternal transference with my T. With the negative, it tends to be that I expect her to react like my mom would to things, so sometimes I'm reluctant to tell her about something (doesn't help that she's my mom's age). She doesn't generally react that way, so for things like that, I feel it's clearly transference/projection.

However, recently I've realized that she *is* reacting to a particular topic the way my mom would have (regarding male authority figures--those who read my posts must know who I'm referring to there in relation to T). And then I'm reacting to T now the way I did to my mom back then. And so on. I want to bring it up with her today but am a little nervous about it, since I'd be calling her on something she's doing. And, as you could maybe guess, I have trouble doing that with my own mother. And last time I called T on something (a couple months ago), she seemed really sad. She's basically admitted to having some countertransference toward me, too.

Tips on bringing this up? I feel that figuring out and addressing what's behind all this, particularly going back to my mom, could be really beneficial for me. But also nervous about it because it's a sensitive issue for me (and would likely require me to discuss someone who hurt me emotionally in the past).

I think this is great insight LT. you have caught both you and t in an enactment, a rather unhelpful one. Bringing this up could lead to a rupture and it could also lead to lots of healing and really good work. I suppose it depends on how your t reacts. I think once you say that her reactions have been unhelpful and why you feel that, t should be happy to discuss this but you know her better than any of us. All ts have counter transference towards clients and maybe your t is seeing you like her daughter and she wants to protect you from MC. You are big enough to make your own decisions though.
I think your t is being rather protective of you, I wonder does she know why?
I am interested to hear how it went with your t. I think if her counter transference is impacting you this is definitely worth talking about.
My ts counter transference is scandalous at times but she does name it and talk about her own process and why she reacted like that.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight