I can see your point; I have been very frustrated for a long time. Many people I liked ended up ruining my life, so I've struggled to put it behind me and replace them with new people. There is not anybody who I feel listens to me when I talk, and that is why I choose to regularly spew on forums.

To tell you the truth, I have this truly awful anxiety, and so I really cannot sit still for very long when I am around a lot of people, even family. I've not been keen on using public transport for a long time. I'm particularly afraid of being in wide open spaces and busy environments like supermarkets, but I don't mind using buses if the streets are narrow, not high up, and not too crowded.

I've heard that people who experience panic attacks or repeated bouts of depression are more likely to develop agoraphobia and social anxiety, even without prior phobias being an issue. So while I've never been formally diagnosed with having agoraphobia, I think all the negativity in my life just got to be too severe, and I do think I have a collection of interconnected mental health disorders, like PTSD, besides PDD-NOS, which is supposed to be similar to autism. However, I'm only 31 years old, and so it's not healthy to go on about retirement plans, or distancing myself from the world. Although many people out there have purposefully hurt me, so it means I'm concerned it could happen again.

Also, the other day there, I was on other forums that are not moderated anymore. I'd never intentionally grass on someone to get them into trouble, but one guy from Latvia likes picking on me in my threads for admitting I pay to have sex with escorts, because apparently in his opinion, if a guy uses his benefits for sexual gratification, but he is unemployed, that is laziness. It's the loveforum.net forums and this guy seen a film I was in where there is a female photographer in an alley, and he asked me if I banged the woman afterwards. Jokes or not, that was actually pretty ignorant.