I'm an APD know-sod-all, so, sorry if this winds up being triggering.

My girlfriend just read out the Wiki page for APD and it hit home so much that I leaked a bit. It was as sure-thing-y as when I was kid -- so sure I had OCD, and turned out I absolutely, unequivocally had and have it. I know self-diagnosing is bad, but dear Lord, every single word (particularly the symptoms) is me, and my girlfriend agrees; she's known me closely for almost two years, so she knows me very well.

This could be a good thing though, because it could well be the core of many of my problems; that thing which has been hiding all these many years and stunting my "recovery" and growth as person, despite therapy for OCD and various medication for anxiety and depression over the years.

I don't really know what to do now though. I might take a quiz on PC, but I sort of feel that might be pointless now, having heard what Wiki has. I had a feeling I might have APD, but the funny thing is, I was avoiding looking it up for fear that my suspicions were true! Is that irony?

What did y'all do to seek help? I might camp out here more often, to get an idea of how to approach and learn about this thing. I don't know if I can go through "treatment" right now. Too much going on. But, I dunno, we'll see. As you might imagine, I'm avoiding it (and a bazillion other things) because of anxiety and stuff.

It's gotten to the point at which I even struggle to go outside of my flat and down the stairs to check for post. I also had to get my pharmacy to delivery my medication, because it was just too much stress every month to walk there and I was starting to consider simply not going. I avoid going to see my dad because it means going on a bus to another town, and that's just stressful as heck. I sometimes avoid my amazing girlfriend because of anxiety about various things, like some forms of intimacy. Believe me, the list goes on and on.

I'm registered as disabled (and somewhere it says unfit for work, if I remember correctly), and have been for many years, because of my OCD and anxiety issues, but maybe some day APD will be added to that.