Honestly I've had it rough too. To the point were I was assaulted by hellishly strong people for their amusement in hostel. Due to this I have memory issues and my heart pounds when I stress to eventually my entire body starts to itch. I was incorrectly diagnosed with a sevear case of ADHD and ADD. They put me on Ritalinr and Concerta. These drugs called the chemicals in my brain to do some weird nonsense. I had mood swings of rage to were I got upset with a cactus and slapped it to the ground, instantly regretting it of course. Then one day I decided not to care and completely adapt my own personality to suite the situation. I force myself to be calm and collected as much as possible. Inside I want to cry every second I think about it but I can, as in I physically can't anymore. My old and new personalities are mixed up and it leaves me in a battlefield of complex emotions with is why I can't Handle a relationship (as much I I would love to...) and I hate myself forbeing like my old self from Time to time. Also since the medication mentioned earlier was wrongfully prescribed to me I also gained weight fast which led to more being bullied and more changing my personality to try and survive. I believe that was are a few rare people who can completely and utterly change ourselves to survive our situation and try to shed ourselves of the past.

Remember, your personality is a combination of your upbringing and life experiences. It's not uncommon to have a adapted personality after a major life experience.

I wish the best to all that have read this and hope you find inner peace with yourself. I find that practicing Chinese kungfu and mixed martial arts are a great way to channel energy and find your self after becoming lost.