I'm so sorry you went through so much bullying and that is what it was...bullying. I was viciously bullied throughout middle school and some in high school. It changed my personality and I still have psychological scars to this day. I did have friends in middle and high school and have friends now but don't ever feel like I really fit in. I'm more introverted, socially anxious and a loner. I've processed as much as I could in therapy and forgiven my abusers but I think I might always have scars.

There is nothing wrong with you...there never was. I hope you can find a therapist who is a good fit for you to work on some of this. Maybe you could try exposure therapy for your social anxiety. I hope you find peace and I'm here if you need to talk. Sending big hugs.