I am sorry about your situation. Your question about finding confidence is a very good one. I understand this. My own experiences back to childhood were damaging to my self-worth.

Where now to find it?

I have recommended CBT a number of times. My experience was a good one and my confidence continues to grow since completing the program. Volunteering is another thing that has been good for making me feel worth while - and needed. My psychiatrist has been a wealth of opportunity too. At his invitation I have participated in student learning and even got up the confidence to attend a seminar. I also took on a bigger role with my support group. It was hard but each time I get involved with something the easier it gets.