I emailed my T because I am having a lot of difficulty at this point. He didn't reply. In sessions, since he basically forced me to stop idealizing him and to stop the transference, it just hasn't been the same. I don't get the same safe feeling. He's going away for Christmas, which is fine, no problem. But, will I ever feel totally safe with him again? Or does that end when you realize that he is actually a human being? I feel that I was not ready for this. I have been in so much pain. I just feel so lost. I sent him an email saying thanks so much for not replying and showing how much you don't care. Then I recanted, sending an email that said disregard. I can't decide if I hate him, or if I want to really like him but can't because of what's happened. I hope this makes sense.