I haven't posted here in a while. My life has gotten complicated which is leaving me feeling like I can't be of support to the people here at PC... which in turn tells me not to put myself out there because I won't receive support back. I know some have followed my story so here is a truely brief description of this weeks sessions:

Monday - deep dive into abandonment issues around my mother and uncle, and how those issues played out with T's vacation. I used a book called "you go away" by Dorothy Corey (https://www.amazon.com/You-Go-Away-D...=UTF8&qid=&sr=) to talk about the separations. I can't seem to find a video of this one. I felt very weird during the session, distant. So mild disassociation to a bit more before grounding back to the present. Then I spent the last 1/3 of the session talking about things with wife (the new complications).

There was lots of sadness and peace through the session and after. On Tuesday, I had one of those sad weepy days where you are just sad that something happened in the past, not anything particular and nothing else complicating the emotion. There was some peace with it too. A healing moment? don't know but it felt like maybe.

Yesterdays (Thursday's session) - I took games and a snack in. I wanted to just be with T, in her presence. We played scrabble. Since we agreed not to keep score, we played more cooperatively than competitively. T did not eat of my snack though I offered it to her. I was not upset at this but wondered if she didn't like my snack choice. At the end of the session, she confirmed that she doesn't eat them as she doesn't like them. About 1/3-1/2 way through the session, I told her about how Monday effected me and how with the help of friends, I started feeling better towards the end of the day. Then I asked her why it was ok that I email her. She talked about this or that, I didn't get an answer that really answered the question for me. When time was up, I got really sad. I didn't want to leave. She let me linger and leave at my pace. I'm not sure how much over the hour I was.