I have been with the love of my life for over 2 years. We now live together and I thought we were on our way to a happily ever after. When discussing our future recently he confessed that he doesn’t feel as though he will ever love me or anyone else enough to marry them. He said he wants to get married “some day” but feels no need to do so anytime soon. (he is 28 and I am 26 so while we are not “old” we are certainly not too young to be considering marriage) Needless to say, this broke my heart and crushed my dreams. The fact that he feels this way concerns me. He says he cant ever feel any extreme emotions. I have been fighting a constant battle with anxiety and depression since 2011 so I am the complete opposite. I feel such deep emotions especially towards him.

I have gotten therapy for my problems including spending a week in an in-patient facility and I feel like so much of my hopelessness has been overcome. Do you think that some sort of therapy could help him feel differently? I have been researching like crazy and I keep reading that it is not a “problem” to be fixed or dealt with, its just his personality type. I’m not sure I can stay with someone who makes me feel like I am not loved as much as I love him but I’m torn because I want to stick it out.

I know that not everyone has the same symptoms but I feel like he doesn’t really have any of the other normal indicators of schizoid personality disorder. He loves to go out on the weekends and never has any problem being in a big group of people and he definitely doesn’t have a lack of sexual desires. He has plenty of hobbies that he participates in with many different friends and family members like fishing, playing golf and fantasy football. I just feel like he loves me but he could “take me or leave me”. Like he loves having me in his life, but he wouldn’t be too upset if he didn’t anymore. When I told him that I didn’t know if I could continue to be in a relationship like this, he became more upset than I have ever seen him. He was crying and begging me to reconsider. But then nothing changed and now he is just back to saying it is just how he is.

Is there anyone out there who maybe can identify with what he is feeling and tell me if you think this is in fact SPD or am I just with someone who doesn’t love me enough?