DadFMF, so even though it's been hard to schedule appointments where you can move forward with marriage counseling together, are you still engaging in therapy for yourself so you don't fall back into the old habits your wife talked about as you being "angry and controlling"?
I think it's important that you continue therapy so you can talk things over with this therapist so you can continue to work on "improving" your part in the relationship so you don't slip back to having the same relationship you had before.
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Well i ended up calling and telling him to back the "F" off and to stop calling her. It might not have been my place, but I had to put my foot down as the man
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This is something you should discuss with your therapist who can give you some suggestions that you may not think of on your own. Also, your therapist can help you with looking at your wife's behaviors where the therapist may see some red flags that you may be misunderstanding or could react to better that improves the communication between you and your wife in ways that would benefit you and both of you.