I read something online, before Bud posted about this, from some random psychoanalysis book that said the therapist should redirect the patient back to his own life and help him/her identify opportunities where emotional attachments can develop. The client's attachment to the therapist cannot be reciprocated, so he/she should find instances where it can be reflected back to them.

My ex-t basically said (about my attachment/transference issues), "This is good. We're an "us" and lean into it!" but it failed because she couldn't deal with it. She avoided me. I became too much for her, as is the running theme for me and the women in my life that began with my mutha (mother). It just reinforced it.

Dr. Smith is telling me to stay with a woman who is re-enacting all of this childhood crap? Which isn't a problem if it gets me to the point of having some value in myself and saying, "I'm out! Deuces!"
But the way he makes it sound, like you MUST stay with them FOREVERRRRRRRR and hire a mediator if you must...yeah, not getting it.