Quote:
Originally Posted by AllHeart
That's absolutely reckless. I find this to be the most painful part of such a devastating situation. It's something I will never be able to wrap my head around. How a therapist, of all people, can devalue and dismiss a human being that is their client like that is beyond reprehensible to me.
In my case, it makes sense to me that my ex-therapist friend had too much deep pain of her own already. To have to look at her significant wrongdoings and incompetence would cause her more pain and she can't handle that. So she had to hurt me deeply in order to avoid creating further pain for herself. If she were just a friend, I could understand this and move on. But, because she is an experienced therapist, I cannot understand this. To have no remorse, take no accountability, no desire to try to correct her egregious mistakes --and knowing the intense damage she would cause me quite frankly scares the shiit out of me.
I am actually writing ex-t a letter right now. I have already found some relief in the process. It feels like some of this anger and hurt gets released through pen and paper. I debate whether or not to send it when done. I have to further examine my intentions for doing so. Right now it's more to provoke a response that I know I won't get over gaining a piece of closure for myself. I'm also trying to finish up writing the report on her too. Who knows what I'll end up sending off when everything is done. But, I do find the writing process helps provide me with some healing regardless.
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Yeah, it scares me too...
In some of our emotional conversations that led up to termination, she even admitted that she needed help, needed her own therapy (specifically for the stuff within our relationship,) but said she knew how hard that kind of work was and said that she wouldn't do it in the foreseeable future because she's too busy in her life.
But she
continued seeing clients.
It's like if a restaurant knew there was mold in all the food and served it anyway. It's the most frustrating thing to me. I gave her so many chances to do the right thing and improve and she refused to take responsibility for herself. It's frustrating because I somehow really believed she was better than that and would try to change. And like you said, it's her
job to be all about that kind of change. She accepts payment to do that very thing. It's ridiculous and it makes me feel like I was stupid to have trusted that she had a functioning conscience.
That is wonderful that you're finding some relief just writing a letter. I think I used to write her unsent letters that only made it worse because I was trying to make sense of her behavior and the truth is it just didn't make sense. It was crazymaking. But it does help to write from the perspective of just how it made me feel.
Best of luck with your decision as far as reporting goes.