Oops, sorry RubyRae - I wasn't following this thread.

re: Band size - I tend to measure under, but you're right, different websites will tell you to do it differently. I measure under, and try to get the measuring tape as tight as possible. If you're between numbers... I think you're supposed to round up, but I'm not positive.

A couple other tips and tricks though!

1. This probably isn't going to help you, RubyRae, but for anyone who isn't aware... you can buy bra extenders to make the band bigger! This is especially nice, since the bands tend to stretch with time. You can use an extender to make a band that's just a smidge too tight bigger, then remove it when the bra stretches a little, and get more use from the bra.

Here's an example of one (it comes as a set of 3, with different colors!) on Amazon... this one has 3 hooks, but you'll want to search for one with the same number of hooks as the bra that you want to wear it with.

https://www.amazon.com/Maidenform-Wo.../dp/B0083QLOOO

I haven't had any problems with these fitting, but some people have, if the vertical spacing between the hooks on your bra doesn't match the extender. The best thing is to buy someplace where you can return easily if it doesn't work .

(Kohls by me has them, but they're impossible to find in the store. When I buy them, I order them online and pick them up in the store. Easy to return if they don't work.)

2. Are you guys on reddit? I can't believe I forgot about this, but there's a whole subreddit dedicated to helping people find bras that fit properly... it's called "abrathatfits"...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/

I haven't looked there recently, but they should have some great links/resources on fitting, but they also talk about different aspects of your body and how that will affect fit, and what types of bras work best for different body types, if that makes sense. If you're trying to understand bra fit, it's a really good resource.

3. Yes, get a fitting! Specialty lingerie stores that specialize in bra fittings can do it, but if you don't have anything like that near by - check the fancier department stores. I've been getting odd size bras at Nordstrom's locally for the last couple of years, and the sales assistants have been *so* wonderful, patient, and kind. I haven't done a full fitting with them, but I have had them check out a bra that I was considering and help me adjust it, or suggest other bras/sizes that might work better. They've been *great* - I recommend them highly.

4. I know, I said this before too... but I'm still amazed too at the difference when you tighten up the band. The bras that I'm currently wearing are a couple years old and have stretched a bit. I had been wearing them on the 2nd set of hooks (of 3), but lately, the straps are constantly annoying me and slipping... when I tighten up to the tightest set of hooks, the straps magically behave! I believe that this puts some of the support work on the band instead of the strap. It doesn't feel obvious to me at all... but it works!

Ooh! re: the sizing... just like other clothes, not all bras are cut the same. Not all brands handle sizing the same. It sucks, but that's why if you can try them on in a store, you can get a better idea of what works If you look at the subreddit that I linked to, you'll see that some bras work better for some body types too... I don't have the details (not something I really spent a lot of time figuring out) - but there's a lot of variety. That's why I think an in-person fitting with someone who knows how this stuff works can be helpful.

>>I am tired of bras not fitting well and being so uncomfortable and read how 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra.

Yeah, it's amazing. If you've never looked at any of the European bras that are sold here and just stuck with US-bras, you'd think that cups bigger than "D" or maybe "DD" didn't exist at all . I can remember how frustrated I was shopping before I knew all this, because nothing worked at all... ugh.

I hope you can find some good fitting, comfortable bras! I wish it was an easier task! I really do think trying things on in stores is pretty essential... though you could also try someplace like Zappos that has free shipping and free returns (order a couple different sizes so you can compare, and send back everything that doesn't fit).

Good luck!

EDIT TO ADD: re: Getting a bra fitting at a nicer department store. I go during the middle of the week, about an hour before they close. There's less crowds that way, and I'm not having to deal with a ton of other people being around. Less stress for me. Sometimes I'm the only one in the whole lingerie department other than the sales people!