Don't know what I'm gonna do yet... but still have time to decide.

Honestly? Initially I felt like I was being forced out the way she said she wanted to take a month off but couldn't because she'd already committed to others. What I heard her say was "I want a month away from YOU." I don't feel that's what she meant anymore. It was for the best the way it all happened at least for me. I know now that I never would have realized that I was emotionally dependent on her, and likely also never would have gotten to the point of working through this (bottomless) need for maternal approval that I have, and really start filling that need within myself. It was too easy to let her fill it. I'm going back and forth right now between feeling sad about how it all ended and regret that I hurt her. It's weird.