I did not know the word "attachment" in therapy or out of therapy. My therapist brought up the word attachment to me in relation to key attachment styles that are used to classify how people relate to one another. She explained to me that I had an avoidant attachment style and sometimes may have classified it as disorganized.

She offered to do attachment therapy with me in order to transition into a secure attachment style. Yes, a secure attachment style was the end goal. She was not in the business of making me dependent and/or attached to leave me hanging. It was a "tool" in my therapy to move me forward. It worked! I don't feel any more attached to her than some of my not closest friends.

It seems to me that most people that use the phrase "attachment to their therapist" bring it into the session along with all the anger, sadness, fears, especially because of the many ruptures that get posted on PC, and the raw feeling of vulnerability. Then sometimes the therapist makes mistakes, sometimes little ones, sometimes big ones.

I was big in using Forums and their post as ammunition in therapy, that what was happening to so many people on the forums was going to happen to me. My therapist was going to fail and she was a liar. (She said the process would take 18-24 months.) How could she not, it was me, the neediest person on earth. Most times she was patient and reassured me time and again that the misfortunes happening to others would not happen to me Other times, I sensed the frustration in her voice and tried to twist reason into my illogical way of thinking and found reasons to bolt, but I didn't. I kept my frustrations with her on her doorstep and I'm glad, because now I no longer dish crap to others where it doesn't belong, which was usually myself.

Being attached and/or dependent in a childlike way is a crapping feeling if one is adult. I get that because I've been there. But, if one has a competent therapist, or finds other methods, the process of working through the attachment and walking out the other side is a freedom like know other. I have learned also not to be an island unto myself, and have become interdependent on those around me.

SS1971, if you are wanting to also know how attachment is used or not as a "tool" in your therapy I would advise you to talk to your therapist about it.

¡El apego era bueno para mí!
(Attachment was good for ME!)

AttachmentesBueno