I can't enjoy life if I can't find the motivation to be productive and living with the fact that my brain has been punished because of my abusive father and ignorant mother. They were all against me and for that, I have been punished by damaging my brain.
So long as I can't connect with people and even pursue hobbies I want but with NO DRIVE for them, I honestly don't see a point in living such hollow life. Can't fulfill myself? Then I'm not enjoying life.