Thanks, leomama.

There seems to be a barrier between me and truly being in the present moment right now. My nights are incredibly taxing, because the memories come out of nowhere, and it takes a supreme effort to keep them at arms' length during the day, which is effort I cannot afford to expend 24 hours a day.

The details rattle around my head at a frightening pace, and yet when I come to discuss them, I come up empty...speaking it makes it real again.