Hi again. I can't go to that place I going until next week. I was supposed to go a few days ago but the only time I can go anywhere are my husband's off days and he had stuff planned this past week so I couldn't go and I really hope next week works out. I feel fine yesterday the day before and this morning but now I just want to cry. I'm just not happy. I feel so isolated and alone because I'm alone. I literally don't have any friends anymore. I am inside 90% of the time with my kids and the only adults I talk to on a somewhat normal basis other than my husband are my kids doctors out the checkout person at the store we go to. I hate living here so much. I wish I could afford to get a job but with 4 kids it's not worth it. I wouldn't make enough to cover the cost. My husband is always saying how appreciative he is off next being here with the kids but he doesn't understand that I'm miserable staying at home. Literally just staying at home and when he gets off work he's tired and doesn't want to go anywhere. I don't drive due to high anxiety. So in that aspect I feel like a prisoner to my mind. I just want to disappear and not feel how I feel.