I don't think you're being selfish for wanting to stay home. You had a bad experience there. I hate going down to my husband's old hometown because it just reminds me of him and his drug addiction. If I have to go down there I get horrible anxiety and feel awful for the whole day. It's not fun. The only reason I have to go down there is to see my father in law (who is triggering in his own right). I only see my father in law once every three months or so because it sucks so much to go down there.

I think if you're ABSOLUTELY SURE you'll be safe, you should stay home. But you have to be sure. You have gotten into trouble before. You have to make sure you're not going to take all your meds in one day. You don't want to extend your hold any longer.