Yep, I am attached to current T -- I've told her but she said it's hard to see it because I've been actively looking for other therapists. I don't think the one precludes the other but I haven't bothered to debate her on the point.

According to her, therapy is nothing but attachment -- giving people the sort of emotional experience (of being seen and "delighted in" [her favorite phrase]) they didn't have as a kid.

I don't buy all that -- for obvious reasons, there is only so far she will delight in my utter awesomeness before kicking me out when the next client comes in and so on.

But, I do think there is something to be said for having a connection -- attachment bond of sorts if you will -- to a therapist which allows me to say most anything (and I do think I can say most anything, as long as I'm okay with whatever whacky response she comes up with -- we can muddle through the weeds, as she put it).

At the same time, I don't think my attachment to her blinds me in any way to seeing her flaws as a therapist -- gawd knows there are enough of them as I never tire of pointing it out -- and consequently, looking to see if I can find someone who's sort of more skilled / a better fit for me.

So, as of now, if things were to not work out with her or we reached an impasse yet again, I do have another therapist who I've spoken to briefly, who I could easily see myself working with -- it'll be different and I'll grieve the loss of current T but it won't be impossible for me to do what I need to do in order to take care of my interests.

To sum up, yeah, I'm attached but not (at least I hope) in a way that blinds me to doing what is best for me (and not sticking around in unhealthy or at least unproductive situations).