No, you are allowing yourself to FEEL your pain when you write about it. Your parents NEVER helped you with that, "not your fault", that's their fault and lack.

Also, you may "feel" ruined, but you are not actually "ruined". By spending time again around your parents, you are slowly seeing where you learned how to "struggle" with connecting with others. Just because you have been finally seeing that doesn't mean you have to continue to "believe" what they taught you.