It really took the painful stuff of this implosion of my 'relationship' with t, to be able to see it for what it was on my part - emotional dependency - absolutely. Funny I guess how it (my attachment to her) worked for a long time - I made some really significant changes to myself during the almost 6 years and was feeling good enough to want to end, then after we started that working towards ending in November, it all imploded and apparently I have quit (with the exception of perhaps going back for one closure session), and I'm at a loss what the hell happened. But, the upside is, I now see how emotionally dependent I had become on her, which was definitely NOT healthy, and that comes from this insatiable need inside me for maternal approval, that I was getting from her as well, instead of learning to find that inside myself, bla bla bla, and I wish she had seen it and been able to work on it with me.

Incidentally I recently ran across an online quiz about "Childhood Emotional Neglect". I took the quiz and yeah. Describes me pretty well. Not something my t ever talked about. It's like, that emotional neglect on top of the other 'stuff' growing up, paved the way for this to happen with t.

Anyway I'm reading a book about healing from it now. It's interesting.